Sunday, May 31, 2009
@5/31/2009
hi..ytd went to study abit of bao zhang bao dao...i hoep tml i would write that n have sufficent time for it...because my normal compo always fail so since always fail i rather try a different one to see my luck...den night time went chomp chomp with my parents n my uncle n cousin...i like 2374348284720 years never go there le..the food quite okay la...just that is place we sat is HOT...den after that went home parents frenz come play mahjong..so go look look awhile hahas...den i lost all my money in texas holdem haiish...i lost 700k in like 5games fcuk sian..now left with 150 chips?haiish...next time den play le...too demolished hahas...n my leg still swollen sian..can walk normlly but cant run .. but the pain was to be compared with my heart is nothing okay...hee so i always liddat compare my heart n leg so not pain hahas
i dunno...i really hope to be given a chance i really fall feep into u le...i dun want to be like ..... liddat ask le den no friends n curse n swear here n dere...if rather liddat idk wht i will do as well..haiish!...ineeduiloveu .. no doubts... but it seems pretty impossible
Friday, May 29, 2009
@5/29/2009
today last day of school was total crap la..early in the morning councillor board jiu so tense up Zzz...because of 2 pple dun talk abt it den Mr wong come talk talk to us...den took up 45mins of our mt class ... den class contact nothing much blah blah blah waste time den mrs menon talk rubbish to me?because those dont really concerns me except the o lvl thing...i really need buck up le...i can see my socks when i m wearing shoe...so need pull up my socks n buck up!... before npcc i went to play volleyball with min you ... lol den after that go di siao shawn side de volleyball den fuck up my leg injuried because i tried to save a ball den didnt see well den knock into uncle den my leg blue black..internal bleeding till now still cant walk well...cant run much
NPCC
last normal training for us but the attendance was totall bull shyt can...so little people come spoil my mood den i keep screaming at those people as their actions are really from slow to tortoise?idk...i really tired le i really hope that they can change for the better...after so long for their squad IC stepping down le i realise i didnt do much to them to change except a couple of them..can see improvement others really CMI...in the camp i would really give everything in le...after that den i see how mahs...i want to come back as CI but see my o lvl results first ... now my results sucks like hell..Mr Ang tempted me make me heart itchy but studies come first bahs...haiish...those secondary 2 people played captians ball,n frisbee i only participated mch on frisbee because of my leg...mel mel teach them how to play because they dun really noe much =) nothing much on that though just that they r quick learners for games but why not quicklearners for drills n others?!...i can say my heart n soul had been in alot but i feel useless cant doing help for them...i want them to change n even me not serving the unit next year i come back i say see them as 1 bonded squad not like now scattered sand still...haiish idk n dun want talk abt it le...i dunno wht can i do now...u see me u feel weird wht can i do to prevent this from happening?i really start to feel the distant but i probably cant live without you now?everyday i really hope to see u first n see you most...even my leg injuried i think the pain is not as pain as my heart...now is like a puzzle who will fixed it back for me i really hope is u but idk now...haiish i promise n feel that i would continue to fight for the honours!...i wun give up!...
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
@5/26/2009
dun ask about my results it sucks terribly ! :(:(:( i can say that my efforts were not 100% in so i would really need the 100% soon .. June1 i need to conquer it already ! At least a A2 please :( may god bless me :)...my mye almost failed so i need to buck up much much more please let me get aA2 n poof i go for chinese..anyway too lazy to post le cya pple soon
Happy Birthday Carine
16years old le hope you enjoy your birthday..
it really needs the 0.01% to find a true love like you , but i need the another 0.01% chance from you to let me go nearer n closer to you :) i m true for you but it seems pretty impossible for me to do anything now haiish
Sunday, May 24, 2009
@5/24/2009
i went temple today
gt some fu shui by godness because of my complexion n wht i m heaty
i m a buddhist so i had to follow n believe . asking me to believe 100% is impossible but i believe to a huge extend:)
den brought my cousin to tampiness safra for bowling .. cork up today fcuk shyt all only 85++ but below 105
sian den pool .. wasted money .. within 20mins 3games ... win 2 lose to my brother by shooting in the 8ball le white ball went le lol...stupid me didnt control the ball well .. den makan at a teo chew resturant Zzz...den father give black face say wht nv say want go whr eat den bring u all le jiu complain n blah blah ... lucky cousin there is not will have MASS DEBRIEF there
cut my hair le...slopply slopply to show mr mike...
i finally received your text...i should be happy but i wasnt fully .. but is fine...slowly bahs i hope =) ... i really wnt to prove/show u that i really indeed like u n want a chance from u ... haiish
Saturday, May 23, 2009
@5/23/2009
wa today went sentosa with jason , zhi hui , lixing , melvin , meng lie , carmen , felicia and hong lueng .. woke up at 7.45am lol right?den jason jiu text me wat za qi de nao er you chong chi ... lol ... den he called me i ignore purposely hahas .. den bathe bathe le he call den i told him i deberately ignore his call :) den poof i go to meet carmen .. den realise felicia n her was doing the food for the mini picnic that jason asked for den they r late for 1hour so do me n hl lol...den we go sentosa le play volleyball .. super super long nv touch le ... heng heng still not so pai seh because i not the noobbie one LOL...zhi hui brought his cousin with is a volleyball VCap down as well to play .. quite fun playing with him we den till noon we started eating , i have no appetite at all den played volleyball with li xing lol lol lol den when the ball fly off some macho guys behind as throw back the ball den she jiu say wa see those gentleman .. i was just standing there doing nothing the ball fly back le... den the sun too hot i thirsty jiu go back drink water den told jason i want abit of beehoon n the seaweed chicken n nugget lol den stupid jason give me one big plate of beehoon with i ate 1mouth jiu dump away le...many food wasted there hahas...den carmen n felicia went to buy frisbee back lol awhile time the frisbee cant be seen le ... the condition is like wahahas...i tried stunts okay hahas i throwed the frisbee on the floor den it flew up very very nice =) after bathe we took photographs .. me mel n jason wore shades to tke photo .. den we went to makan for dinner wanted to makan at yuki yaki but full house need wait for 1.5hour den we went cafe cartel 45mins n seoul garden 45mins due to the majority we went on with cafe cartel the food quite nice but also ex lol .. 9 pple eat 176bucks lol...each almost 20bucks ... den because i having a bad headache n need to go home so went ahead with my squadmates abondaning those CIs ... wahahas they going barage ? ok shall end here bahs n i want those photos jason tan jie shen!!!!....
i dunno wht happened to us now even texting u u dun reply ... i have no comments le... i shall carry on waiting bahs...lost in the dark...everywhen n then i take my phone out when i see messages i hope u r the one sending me but always i didnt get it...i can say tht not much smiles were shown nowadays ... haiish ... i wun be happy anymore chin yang is always waiting then ... fuck up lifeLabels: f life
Friday, May 22, 2009
@5/22/2009
i rot the whole day today with my laptop...
tml going sentosa with jason tan jie shen n cliques hope it will be fun bahs...
haiish...jason 18years old le i 16nia sian...cannot learn driving yet lol
shall end here...too lazy type le...n really sick of everything...
i hate everything now...i hate u!..i hate myself! i hate everyone here and everyone there..
i hate !!!!!!!!
my hatred could be express through my expression thats one i dun want!
i want to change ! i would only smile when happy n dun show a hating people expression when i m doing so
fcuk shyt and myself...haiish...i m serious about u..not even a single dime unserious...whtever i said to u is 100% true...if u doubt my words wht u need to get it right?i noe trust is build up over long time but overnight everything might be gone..i noe..but u didnt let me try out .. i can promise i wun be saying sorry for nothing and dun put on a fake smile , i would not be doing those things ytd FM 100.3 said thats wht i can promise...but .. it seems so impossible now...haiish...i m tiredLabels: i blame myself for everything
Sunday, May 17, 2009
@5/17/2009
~~i m rotting~~
to lazy to study for test...
gonna to read the formulaes soon :)
i m wondering nowaday...is there chance? is there miracle?can i create miracles..i really wonder!...i want u!..but it seems pretty impossible nowadays....fcuk life of mine...haiish
@5/17/2009
didi sick today so rot at home read abit of physics but dun understand most of them tml den go through again ... so whtever...i played texas holdem again...today luck was better but i was greedy at the end always ended up keeping 10over thousand only...i won abt 300k n was left wih 30k..imagine...Zz...nevermind i played that to past time as well..:(
-hope didi recover fast fast ... lets hope :)my heart was really terribly painful...idk why...i was really thinking that u would text me..but end up i didnt receive any text by you at all but others...i was with my phone all the time but whenever i see one message received i pin hopes that i would see yr name on the titte but it was not ... idk wht i should do to .... haiish...my heart sinked once again for today...haiish...my life was fcuked!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
@5/16/2009
i killed myself for emaths paper 1..hopefully i would not just pass by a borderline one..:) is tough to me...as i had not revised enough i m truthful okay.:)...n SS i m doomed!..hope Miss Sasi wun kill me as i disturbed her witht the 3 boys on last friday saying wht we need hints n etc den can study..lol..i didnt really bother studying that as i feel since i m dead for geography not much of a point studying SS as well :) i noe thats a very very bad habit but no choice wht done is done..i must learn from mistakes..lol...okok...i m still online at 2.35am...imagine hahas...i had a great rest in the afternoon after my aircon was serviced...but it doesnt seems cold at all!...rawk!...anyway i m going fcebook texas holdem..i played my didi account n earn him 45k just now but lost 35k..lol...gonna try to invest again now buaiii dunno wht i should do now i hate myself in many things as well now i lost courage in saying onlly in blog i dare to fuck up right...i believe u dont trust me much still but wht i can say / promise is i know that love might not be everlasting if we are together but i promise if we could be tgt the moments would definitely be great/happy n the happiness would definitely be much much more!idk i just dun feel that there is miracle for me though...haiishLabels: saddening state
Thursday, May 14, 2009
@5/14/2009
i screwed myself up today in everything once again ! fcuk it can!argh!i knew my geography paper is a goner!ha den followed by poa i seriously dunno m i on the right track when mr wong walk past me staring at my paper with a weird look den i went home makan sleep den tuition ... Now just started studying ss i seriously hope i wun be scoring single digit for that .. I aim to soar ! My e maths paper 1 target by myself 40/60..my tutor target for me 48/60 all crazy expectations n targets just hope i can do it den lets pray :)
and for you ... idk wat to say i seen / read your blog n everything wat i can simply say is i hope for a miracle to come for me to do things well ? I want ... I will not give up no you!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
@5/13/2009
after years i m always healthy [overweight] i m this time sick..n is very sick!physical n emotional sick!i hope this pain would NEVER go off..i would die soon liddat...idk why..dun ask me why i dun want the pain to go off .. I have no answer as well..my throat from bad to worst but i insist not to see a doctor because i want the pain to be there the longer the better!definitely everyone think is insane but to me is not!i m crazy enough to do almost everything / anythin that is crazy now...haiish..esp emotional ones!haiish...no way i would give up but i cant move further as i think i almost reach the peak the peak where i need to stop or i would fall n die fast!i dun want to post lerrhs sorry the pain will last for life i supposed
Sunday, May 10, 2009
@5/10/2009
today was a happy day in the morning for the activites but not for myself though...went to popular buy things for making rose n den ntuc to buy chocolates den we went subway makan den started to do the roses...for the few mins we failed...den anyhow do anyhow do den we so paiseh...den we decided to go mac to do...den do do do den went home do...wahahas...crazy fellows...( wen n yan sorry i noe u will kill me...but indeed quite crazy ) den home do lerrhs we cant finish it on time so we went grandma hse to complete...we finish lerrhs...den put one side...den i went to see parents mahjong...hee...i m crazy for gambling now...Zzz...den cut cake de shi jiu we started giving those presents we made...den we gave not according to the biggest to smallest mother den we gave the maids first...den not enuf...bloody hell my uncle jiu come kpkb say why the maid take first den his " second wife" dun have?den unfortuately my mother pass hers to that willy wonka...na bei the willy wonka not even a mother why she deserved just because my uncle wife?nabei den wht did he give to the " second wife " i bet also nothing lor...at msot a kiss??or wht LC arhs...kuku sia...we pay money to buy all this things n spend the whole afternoon doing those things not even a thanks word said n was shoot ... den we still kana lesture?/debreif by parents say wht must make extra n shld give from the elder one first ... we made extra one okay!...dunno which kuku go take make us no enough to give...willy wonkas gift was counted inside as well...jsut dunno why gone...this lecture was actually not nessessary ... angry furious!...argh!!!
i dunno wht i can do to appease you...maybe we can be best friends first for now till we have closer relationships as best friends den we say?idk...i m a dumb block now...haiish...i m sorryLabels: nothing can appease me now
@5/10/2009
ytd went raffles town club to eat...yummy indeed i didnt get the chance to see the buffet but the alaked food taste preety nice as well i order lobster fried rice n cream of mushroom which cost 20bucks in total...hee...den went to the arcade to play their table soccer...family game...hee gonna stop here...anyway hoping all mothers a happy mothers day and always having good health n always pretty : )i m lost in the tunnel now...half way through...should i turn back or continue walking till i get through it?the pain is there...if i continue n i failed to finish to reach the destination the pain would be worst...so how?wht can i do?i really want to be with you but it seems like it is impossible right now...i dunno how?i just now my blood is bleeding n the pain is not able to be said within this few words...best friends is not wht i want from u...so how?haiish...i m really lost...haiish...nothing could be done to help me now!haiish...this outcome might be the best if we cant be tgt..but i havent even tried n was like sentenced to death...i m not gonna give up in this case...haiish...Labels: nothing could describle my feelings now
Sunday, May 03, 2009
@5/03/2009
i have no mood to study even though mye is like 5days 120hours from now....haiish!...save me la pple!...the mood n feelings wasnt dere!!!....fcuk sia!...how can i get everything into my mind within like wht 120hours no way!...minusing slp time like left 30hours self-studying...not enuf!!!...nabei sia...why i cant be like those top students in school...can even do revision in class!?..why!?i has been asking this to myself...idk why though fcuk shyt...zzz....sianz...i dun wan to post lerrhs i supposed...for today la....
i dun no wht my desicion was a well made one or not...but since i said it from my text n my heart i had to obey..no more thinking of all this?i still have the feelings sia...no matter wht i m sure i cant forget it within like 1hour or 100 hours...let music heal the soul?haiish!...i could only say all depends on fate..if god give me the chance to meet her by accident i would say i would not give up even though wht i said...i would extract everything!!...because i m those persistent type...not those .................... haiish...wht shld i do???why this happened to me...not others?fuck sia!
Saturday, May 02, 2009
@5/02/2009
In the morning i woke up at 7am...rot awhile den online...den go prayers at guang ming shan den sad to say my cousin was stung by a bee...stupid bee in temple sting pple...Zzz....den my cousin went to see the doctor after that...den i went to bathe buddha...den pray pray pray den go makan at teck ghee market...den went home to change lerrhs den meet the birthday boy!...Yiu Hong Leung!!!...finally 16lerrhs...i bought him to choose a cake..forget it is not halal really forget [sorry asri n saiful] den no choice they cant eat.den went to pool...shuang sia never this happened to me for pooll...i won everyone today!...damn happy...unbeatable record was done today!...2May...cant imagine...jason!...i won him by 1 ball even though is that 1 ball but is enuf to earn the victory..den went to see mp3 secretly with jason but hor the price too expensive...3 pple sharing me.dh,jason only say 129 de,99 de...wanted to buy but count lerrhs really cant afford...den we went world of sports bought a jacket...actual price 80plus but after some discount...so we decided to buy it....den we went to suki sakura eat...makan makan makan with his parents n brother...den 8plus we cut the cake...we bought the relightable candles for him...so he blow so hard also cannot finish blowing till really the candles reaches it limit...den some pple take photo some photos were really...[bhb de pple]...idk wht i typing though...hahas...den went tke neoprint forced by the girls...Zzz....den ok went home...i m really lost!...i dunno wht i can do to earn the trust n everything to get u.u seems like a impt role in my life now...wht can i say when u say u r sad...not in the mood?just letting u rest n not to interfere into yr problems thats how useless i m now...i m tired n lost..i really dun want to carry on this...i m really burnt out...Labels: life without u is terrible :(
